Resilient!

Pain – worse than any I’ve experienced before,

Hurt – Not just the body but the soul,

And yet I’m not going to give in,

I know they can’t win as long as I hold on,

I won’t let them have the satisfaction they seek.

They can break my body and use it as they will,

But my soul? They’ll never be able to break it.

I won’t let them have the pleasure of hearing me scream,

I’ll hold on – right till the end,

And then when they think they’ve won,

I’ll be there – my unbroken spirit,

A blatant reminder of their defeat.

Lifeless

Alone – I’ve never been so alone,

And yet I don’t wish to see another human being again.

Lost inside myself, I can’t see the path,

But I don’t even wish to go back – not ever.

It’s dark - frighteningly so,

But after what I've endured the dark is the least of the horrors.

I've embraced the dark coz light holds just pain,

Continuous and never-ending, an endless torrent.

I feel the groping hands, but I push the memory away,

No – I do not wish to think,

The memory – I wish it would go away,

The leering faces, those bumbling hands,

Block it out, it’s worse than the pain,

The pain I can bear – the broken body too,

But what do I do about my soul,

That is ravaged beyond description,

There is no healing, no hope,

I’m not myself, they took away my identity,

I just watched helplessly,

From somewhere inside me,

I watched as they abused a body again and again,

Kicked, scratched and made it bleed,

But the body lay lifeless,

Coz of course, that was me and I was not in there anymore,

That was me and yet not me,

Who am I? I’ve lost my identity.

I’m lost and I can’t see,

But I don’t want to see ever again,

That scene plays in my mind endlessly,

I wait for the release, but death does not come,

Why oh why? Am I to be tormented so?

Kill me, do not keep me alive – because I’m already dead,

And it would be a mercy.

Just another Girl

She lies there, the one who once used to be,

Lively, vibrant, full of energy,

Now quiet for the first time ever,

With no visible activity whatsoever.

There was a time, she laughed and she played,

When she was the source of joy and mirth.

But now, her body lies lifeless.

She harboured hurts – bottled up the pain,

No one realized that she laughed in vain.

She wasn't happy, it was just a show.

That she put on for the rest of the world.

Coz no one wanted to just know.

They were happy with the false reassurances

Coz that is what they expected and got,

Why look beneath the surface, when truth scares them all.

So she put on her “Smile” and went out to socialize,

Never once letting her real pain show

Beneath the delicate mask.

But now that she is gone, everyone wonders,

If there was anything they could have done.

But the moment that thought comes up,

They quell it immediately,          

Coz who cares – she was just another girl.

And that is what I am scared of –

Of becoming just another girl,

So I stay way and be my own person.

I don’t want you to appreciate or approve,

I wanna be myself and to hell with you all.